Goodbye, 2015

If I thought that 2014 was a hard year, then 2015 was even harder for me and I never want to relive this year ever again.

I turned 30 this year and with being 30, I did learn some things about myself. I also began to change into a person I think I will be for decades to come. I mellowed out.  I began to establish my values and I also branded myself as a valuable person. In branding myself that way, I also began to believe that I am a valuable person that would be in demand anywhere and in any way. I also started to think about the future and made some big decisions that will slowly come together in the years to come.

On the negative side, I’ve “ghosted” on a few people and dropped them out of my life with only a bit of a second guess. I stopped having time for people who did not take my feelings into consideration and people who always complained without making a change. I stopped trying to impress people. I stopped trying to fit in and support things and people who made me second guess myself. My heart has hardened just a touch. I also stopped caring about opinions that don’t matter to me anymore or never mattered to me in the first place.

To that end, I do have really wonderful friends that I have kept and I appreciate them so much. I met some really wonderful people this year and the friends that I’ve had for years are still my heart. I also continued to keep in touch with my best work friends from my old job (which I will bring up later).

I tried attending college at my dream school three times this year. Three times. The first two times were a bust. The last time provided me with the best time I’ve ever had in college. I was able to have a semi-full college experience in one semester. I had two wonderful classes with wonderful teachers. School had finally become a place that I attending. It was so amazing.

I donated blood for the first time. I felt like I was dying for about a week after, but I finally donated blood. I thought that this was fair because I donated Tym’s eyes, skin, tissue and brain. His brain went to science. His eyes went on to help three people see. So, I gave blood and I think it went to Texas to help save a life.

I thought I would go through a spending freeze this year, but it didn’t happen. I managed to get rid of all the money I received from Tym’s death and sometimes, the thought of shopping and/or spending have well and truly exhausted me. I was exhausted before Tym died, but I just don’t even want to think about spending anymore unless I absolutely have to. I did have some great time with the money. I spent four nights in a wonderful hotel, which is where I ushered in 30. I gave some nice birthday gifts. I had some fun, but I now know that having an exorbitant amount of money is more exhausting to me than exciting. For 2016, I only have four to five big purchases I really want.

I lost my beautiful job in June. I spent almost three months on medical leave and that led to me getting fired. I continued to stay unemployed until the end of November, which is when I got two jobs. I had to quit one job before it even started and I quit the other one last Sunday, after despising it more and more. I accepted an offer for what may be another beautiful job and started the hiring process, so I’m pretty thrilled.

This year made me work hard for my happiness but also remained unrelenting in the challenges. I am really hoping that 2016 is going to be much better. I’ll definitely play my part to make it a good year.

*I want to thank all of the people who have read and subscribed to this blog. I really appreciate the past two years. The next time you’ll see me, I’ll be at another online home. Love you, guys.

Love, Natasha

Page 340: Randomly Random

I think I’m 11 days off somewhere. Since this blog is in its final days, I’m not even going to update it.

I’ve been in a pasta phase for about a month now, maybe longer. It started out with this herb chicken tortellini that I couldn’t stop eating. Now, I alternate between the tortellini and spaghetti with sauce. This could be the reason I’ve lost two pounds, but I really don’t eat anything else if I can help it. Pasta satisfies me.

You’ll be happy to know that I got my answers from this post. I received a no from one job and an offer from the other. The one I got the offer from is the one that I felt the most comfortable with and was very fond of. Since I had fond feelings during the interview for my current job, which I hate with a passion, I feel like I should be cautious and simply wait to see how this job will turn out, but it’s back in my element and I think I will be happier. I’m also going to pray on it every single day.

A little while ago, I saw a picture of Bob Saget with Macaulay Culkin and I found myself fawning over Macaulay’s hair because it’s gorgeous. Then, I saw this video when I got home and couldn’t stop watching it. Why doesn’t Macaulay go back to acting? He’s really good at it.

Whenever I’m feeling down, I perform my routine for this song. It is a full-on routine.

Last year, I bought a black faux-shearing like coat from a consignment shop for $80. I didn’t wear it much then, but I’m definitely giving it mileage now and I feel like a badass when I wear it. Best purchase ever.

What’s been random with you?

Page 338: The Job Post

On Sunday, I gave my 17 day notice at work. Even though I had thought about it, I hadn’t planned on giving notice that day but then, I got tired of being pulled in multiple places and my priorities being yanked from one direction to the next while there were other able-bodied people available. So, I gave notice a few minutes later. I remained professional and didn’t go into a rant because I’m not that person, but the day got so much better once I finally signed the notice.

This job is not hard and at times, it’s really fun. However, I can’t deal with the disorder that is going on. I mean, when you have people coming in and they instantly start talking about food while I instantly jumped to work when I came in, I get pissed. Also, the person who hired me, the one who believed in me and taught me as best as he could, was suddenly removed and that has also been a hit. Now that there are more cons than pros, it’s time to go. My last day is on December 30th.

That being said, I am not just walking away from a job without a plan. If I haven’t learned anything else from the past six months, I learned that I feel more sane when I know what’s next. On Monday, I had a phone interview and about an hour and a half later, I went to an interview for another company. Both of these opportunities are full-time and well-paying, and the interviews went well.

I’m leaving it to God to decide if either of these jobs are right for me, so I’m not worried. As much as I would like to spend the next six months doing nothing but resting and learning how to drive, I’m 30 and being financially independent is something that’s my third priority after my faith in God and making sure that my mother stays alright. Keeping my honesty quotient above 75% at all times is fourth.

I’ll eventually talk about my honesty quotient later.

Page 333: Truth, Sweet Truth

I hate my job. See, I started out with two jobs and then I started one. That one turned out to be so consuming that I had to quit job two before I even started. It’s been a little over two weeks now, and I hate my job. Oddly enough, it’s not even the job I hate. I hate how disorganized it is and how I have four different priorities while I have a main one. I also hate how there are at least three to five managers on duty but when you need one, there is none to be found. I’m giving myself until January 1st and then, I’m done. Whether I’ll be working at another job or doing my original plan of spending six months doing absolutely nothing is still unsure, but I’m not staying at that job.

I was a little disappointed that I wouldn’t have a Christmas as extravagant as last year’s was but then, I realized that I tried way too hard last year and that was really unnecessary. The idea of having a laid back Christmas and then celebrating a sequel to “New Christmas” (which is basically eating takeout and then opening gifts on New Year’s Eve before doing a chill out party to usher in the new year), I got really excited. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind doing this every Christmas.

I started seeing a new doctor this week, and he’s sexy. He’s married and I’m not looking for a relationship, so nothing’s going to even happen, but he’s sexy. He’s also prescribed me a sleep medication I haven’t had in almost a year and it’s been working so well, I want to cry tears of joy. I also lost two pounds and that made me feel optimistic because I have such a hard time losing weight. So, I look forward to losing even more weight. Soda leaves a weird taste in my mouth now and I am really content not eating a great deal. Also, I don’t usually eat until after work, so I don’t eat a great deal anymore. Also, a Planet Fitness will be opening only a few blocks from my house, so losing weight is in the future.

I’ve decided that this is the last month that I’ll be blogging here. As much as I love having my own little URL and self hosted blog, I feel like I need a change. Also, I don’t feel like I have to be such a special snowflake anymore. Yes, I will want to carve out my base of readers, but there is no need for me to try to re-invent the wheel or try hard at everything. I feel more comfortable with blogging (almost six years in now) and I think I will be happy with the content that I churn out. More details will come as time passes, but I’m excited for my new space on the internet.